Either For Me Or Against Me: You Are Not My Friend

In one of the most powerful scriptures in the Bible for me. Jesus said to his disciples. You are either for me or you are against me. This quote from JESUS is one of the scriptures that sticks out to me over my 24 years as a Christian. Maybe God wanted me to remember that scripture because not only is it a great guide for our Christian life personally and as a church. But this one of the scriptures that I would need to understand exactly who was around me and what was going on in my life. 

Surely this is the scripture that really outlines in black and white who people really are. Not based on their words or their uniforms. But by their actions and intentions. As we see in the Bible with Judas and the Pharisees. Just because someone is wearing the same uniform it does not mean that they are on your team. And JESUS made it sure to let them know where he stood. Let 's not delineate. We are not going to play games. Either you are for me or you are against me. You are a friend or you are a foe. That is it. There are no grey areas. You need to figure out what you are going to do with that. 

I think we can all agree that an undeclared enemy is a very dangerous thing. If you are on a battlefield you want to know who your allies and your enemies are. If someone is neutral it is not a bad thing. But it can be dangerous. Because a neutral party can at anytime declare on the side of your enemy. 

What is much worse than a undeclared enemy. Is a friend who is not a friend but is in fact your enemy. A friend who is not a friend but an enemy in disguise is a saboteur and a backstabber. We know what happened in the old days to people who betrayed their nation on the battlefield. They got a blindfold to hold on to before it was time to say nighty night. Because being a saboteur or a backstabber in war is one of the lowest things that you can do. 

This is why Judas is looked upon in such a lowly way over the years. You betrayed your best friend. A man who chose you out of the lot of men to follow him. A man who in fact was God. That took you under his wings and loved you. He would later die for your sins. And you betrayed him for 30 Shekels. 

The thing about Judas is that he never declared himself as an enemy. He only used his closeness to JESUS in order to set him up and betray him. Leading to him being arrested by the Romans on behest of the Pharisees. The religious leaders of the day. 

In my life I have been greatly affected by such people as the Judas type. People who will smile in your face and when you turn your back they raise their hands ready to stab you in the back. These people picked up their phone to call me a friend. But I want to tell them that you are in no way my friend. Friends support their friends when they are need. Friends do not look down on their friends. Friends do not talk about their friends behind their back. Friends do now stab their friends in the back when they are low. Friends help their friends when they are in a tough spot. Friends are concerned about their friends when they go through pain. These people in my life I cannot call a friend. They look much more like enemies to me. So why do you act like you are friend? Just declare yourself as my enemy. It would be better for you. 

When I had a vision you did not believe me. When I followed God 's blueprint for my life you scoffed at me. When I was wounded by my enemies you look down on me. When I tried my best you lied on me. You are not my friend. You are either for me or you are against me. And you are certainly not for me. 

Friends are encouraging, friends mourn when you mourn, and Friends will lay down their lives in order to defend you against your tormentors. You watched me tormented for 14 years. Or you did the tormenting. And you looked at me in disgust as I deteriorated and fell to the ground. As I cried out to you for help and understanding. You never once put yourself in my positing. Your arrogance and pride would not allow you. You are not my friend. You are my enemy. 

Am I holding these people who are very close to me to too high of a standard? Well it depends on if friends and family are important to you. It depends on if spouses are important to you. it depends on if church members and Pastors are important to you. I do not think it is too much to ask for a friend to be a friend. And to not consistently beat up the person that they are supposed to be supporting and helping. Treating that person like they are a criminal. When that person showed them to upmost love and respect when they needed it. 

Furthermore, how can you make amends with people who seemingly don 't know why I do not like them in some instances. And in other instances that I just don 't deal with because of their betrayal and attitudes toward me. I am so hurt and offended because plainly I needed these people in my life. God placed them in the positions that they are in so that they could help me. And they have completed vacated those positions and instead stood on the other side of the court room. Looking at me as Satan was my prosecuting attorney. And JESUS was my defending attorney. And while I told them that and showed them that the things that I did was because of JESUS. They did not see JESUS on my side. But he was standing there the whole time. 

How could my friends be my accusers and not be there to defend and support me? 

In a sermon my old Pastor today said that you have to have healthy boundaries even with your parents. You can love them from a distance. But I am not going to live in your lie. He said that strongly... He must know how that feels to be in the position of wanting to love and forgive others despite their actions and attitudes. But also having healthy barriers and relationships with those same people. 

As Christians we are called to love and forgive. But we are not called to be anyone 's doormats or dump truck drop off spot. Here is all of my negativity. I saved it for you. Here you go my friend. No you are not my friend. Either you are for me or you are against me. And you are not for me. 

But I hope and pray that you come to yourself. And you can understand the things that you are doing do not demonstrate to me that you love, care or for me in my life. 

This is the good news about the heartbreaking and disappointing things that I have seen in my life from people who called me friend and even closer relationships. Even though your mother and your father forsake you. God is there. God is a friend who sticks closer than a brother! And there is nothing that will separate me from the love of God. God has shown himself faithful. And I have learned to depend on JESUS even more. 

Jesus became more personal and relevant in my life. As I prayed to him about my problems. I could not talk to anyone at times. Or you just get tired of telling other people about your problems. Or they get tired of hearing it. No judgement there..... It has been 14 years for me. But I learned that I could talk to people a lot less. And I could and should talk to JESUS a lot more. I could give these things to JESUS. And use the tactics of love, forgiveness, communication, but also not compromise my standards and faith all at the same time. And that God would pull me through every situation.